emotional abuse


Emotional abuse can make you feel like there is no way out or that without your partner you are nothing.


An emotional abusers aim is to chip away at your feelings of self-worth and independence.
There are no physical marks yet it can have a huge impact on your self-esteem.


Not to be confused with love. Emotional abuse is not fair or acceptable.
You and your loved ones are worth of love and belonging - always.


what to do?

As a friend or loved one you have the power to support someone who is being emotionally abused.

Simply listening or asking questions about behaviours can be a good starting point.


  • Do listen without judgement. 
  • Do remember that your friend is in love. Question the behaviour not their partner. 
  • Do show support. You may be the only positive person they reach out to. 
  • Do stay connected. It can be frustrating to watch this - but walking away from your friendship will not help. 
  • Do take violence seriously. There is never an excuse. 
  • Do encourage them to seek help from a support service
  • If at anytime, you believe there is a threat to their safety, call the Police.



If you're feeling confused, upset or or unsure about your relationship that is enough to ask for help.

You don't have to wait for things to escalate or reach a certain stage.


A relationship should make you feel safe, comfortable and happy. It's OK to ask for help.


  • A trusted adult or friend
  • Counsellor 
  • Youthline            0800 376 633  or Free text 234

  • It's Not Ok           0800 456 450

  • Lifeline                 0800 543 34

  • The Lowdown      Email chat or Free text 5626
  • 1 in 3 be Free        Downloadable app. 

  • NZ Police       111