Why does she stay?



If your friend isn't treated well by her partner, you might have found yourself wondering why she stays?
Maybe you've been there for the break ups, tears and had heart to heart conversations - but she's still not listening. 


You keep telling her that she deserves better. So, why doesn't she leave?


This conversation comes up in our workshops often.
In this blog we share four common reasons young women stay.







The fear of being lonely. 

Emotional abuse chips away at your feelings of self-worth and independence.
It can make you feel like there is no way out or that without your partner you are nothing.


Your friend might be afraid that no one else is going to love her.
Her lack of self-worth will make it hard for her to see how much of an amazing woman she is.
This can lead to her settling for less than favourable behaviour - to avoid loneliness.







Isolation from family & friends.


An emotional abuser will do their best to isolate you from friends and family.
Not only is the abuse then more likely to stay private, but it's easier for the abuser to control. 

Your friend might be finding it hard to reach out for help.
If you haven't really hung out in awhile or she's bailed on you a few too many times- chances are she's uncomfortable in asking for help. Other common thoughts are feeling like a burden or as though her problems aren't significant compared to your busy life.







Hanging on to a fantasy. 


Your friend could be hanging on to the person she first fell in love with.
Often an abuser is very loving, accommodating and charming in the beginning.
But over time that behaviour can change - where s/he only shows glimpses of love to your friend.


These small gestures or actions like showing affection, buying gifts or promising to change
can lead her to believing that things will eventually get better. 






online vs real life. 


With the rising trend to curate the perfect gram feed, snapchats and status updates we live a lot of our life online.
Sharing all of our highlights online can lead people to perceive that things are great - when actually they're not.


That TBT to last years Bali trip may look great.
But, it can also be an escape from whats really happening.


Your friend may be struggling to identify the difference between her online life and real life.
A little like hanging on to a fantasy this can lead to avoiding the truth of a situation. 







sound familiar? 


These are only a few of the reasons we see in our workshops.
What you need to know is that there are things within your power that you can do to help.

Check out his helpful blog post we wrote especially for you here.
It helps you understand how you can be supportive of your friend,
but also how to look after yourself.