How to help a friend



We all have that one friend we love no matter how many times she bails on you or forgets to give you back that dress she borrowed 6 months ago. Somethings are easy to forgive and forget - others not so much. 


Kind of like when your friend is in love with an absolute drop-kick.

But, even after every breakup, drunken antic or cheating episode - she always goes back to them.

Yep, helping a friend can be tough. Here's a few tips on how to get through x





Call out the behaviour - not the person. 


It's tempting to talk about how much of an a$$hole this person is.
But, trust us - that will do more damage than good. You've got to remember your friend loves this person.


Instead question her partners behaviour. Your less likely to upset her and the questions will make her have a long hard think about wether she really enjoys the relationship or not. 

  • "Babe, I noticed you had to ask for permission to come to the party. Are you cool with that?"
  • "Girl, if someone loves you - do you honestly think they would cheat on you?"
  • "How do you feel about being ignored? If s/he loved you - would they treat you like that?" 




Listen without judgement. 


If your friend is openly talking to you about her relationship - that's awesome!
You might be the only person she's talking about this relationship with. Make sure you listen in to what she's saying.

Acknowledge how she might be feeling and try not to pass any judgement. 







Look after yourself too.


It can be emotionally exhausting helping a friend through a situation like this. 
It's just as important to take care of yourself during this time as it is her.  Take some time out for you! Even if that means an hour of mindless scrolling through Instagram. *whatevs*  You do you boo. 


Most importantly - find your person to talk to.  You need a place to download as well girl. 






Stay connected.


No matter how hard it is to watch your friend in this relationship - stay connected.

Isolation is dangerous;
It's often what an abuser wants too. Don't give them the satisfaction of having your friend to themselves.

Keep in touch by

  • Sending a text to let her know you love her.
  • Tag her in that meme that reminds you of her. 
  • Share the Facebook memory. 
  • Show up unannounced - even if it's awkward. 


Whatever it takes  always stay connected.  One day your friend will thank you for it! 





Don't be afraid to ask for help.


If you are seriously concerned about your friends safety it's super important that you ask for help. 

Yep, that can be awkward. It might upset your friend if you call her Mum or the police for help. But, anyone who loves her would put her safety first. And you my girl wouldn't be reading through this entire blog post if you didn't love her. Am I right?

Asking for help or talking to someone doesn't make you a nark. 

It makes you a bloody good friend in our books. 


Arohanui xx